The Abuse Cycle — Guided Reflection Worksheet

Most people recognize the abuse cycle once they see it named. Idealization. Devaluation. Discard. Hoovering. What is harder is placing yourself inside it — seeing your own relationship clearly enough to say, that is what was happening to me.

That is what this worksheet is for.

It walks you through each phase with prompts designed to surface the specific details of your experience. Not generic questions. Questions about what the beginning actually felt like, what the first signs of the shift were, what he said during the hoovering and what part of you believed it.

The final section asks the questions that matter most. How many times did the cycle repeat before you recognized it. What finally made it visible. What you know now that you wish you had known at the start.

One page per phase. Generous writing space. Designed to be used slowly, privately, and honestly.